Marriage Help: Commitment

Updated August 2020



Does your spouse know you’re totally committed?


I cannot over emphasize the importance of your partner knowing that you are completely committed to your marriage than by making it a priority every single day.  Remember each day to tell your partner how much you appreciate them and are glad you are in the relationship.


When you both are truly committed you will want to let the other partner know that no matter what happens you are a team and will deal with whatever comes along together.  You can do this by letting your partner know that no matter how bad things get around you, you both are strong and your relationship together will allow you to work through whatever it is.


When a person commits to a relationship they are loyal, loving and share a respect for the other person.  This commitment cannot be rattled by something or someone from outside of their relationship unless you allow it to do so.



Listen to your partner


There are times, when one partner may be oblivious to something or someone that is negatively impacting their closeness while the other is really tuned in to the possibility of interference with the sanctity of their special relationship. This, of course, is assuming that your partner is not an overly jealous or suspicious person.


Hopefully you have known and observed one another enough before commitment that you know they are not, so that doesn’t become a big problem. One of my best hints is to bring the person you are considering with you around your family and good friends who will be honest with you about their concerns or confirmations.



Use your creativity or become a great researcher!


Use your creativity, or if you don’t feel you have much, google for ideas on ways to please your mate. The goal is to do something (and it will likely be something small) every day that you and your partner can enjoy doing with each other.


It can be as simple as washing dishes together or as big as planning a mini-vacation for a weekend. Maybe it is as simple as the greeting hug being a few seconds longer than usual or words like I’m so glad we found each other.  Just spend time together so that your partner knows that you are always going to be there for them.


When you are in one of those overly busy times at work or elsewhere, be sure to express regret to one another that you aren’t able to have as much time together during that day or that week, or whatever it is.



Find the balance between together time and individual time


At the same time keep aware that you are each still individuals who need to be taking good care of yourself and your interests as well.


When you keep that balance most of the time, you actually bring more to your time together as you are fulfilling some of your own interests and talents.



Keep planning together and balance out both mates ideas and dreams


Work together on a plan for the future that you both can agree on and live with.  This lets each partner know that you are on the same page when it comes to your relationship.  If one person is in one place and the other in a different place in the relationship, then you might have to back up and regroup.


As life continues and becomes more complicated due to more responsibilities, it becomes more of a challenge to create those connection times. Continue to plan ways to make that happen on a regular basis, just taking care of responsibilities together, but also keeping up the fun together and the dating just as a couple!



Perfection not a reality – Acceptance works best


Naturally no person is perfect so don’t expect your partner to be.  In order to commit completely you have to accept them the way they are.  Don’t try to change them into something that they aren’t or into someone that you think they should be.  Part of commitment is accepting people the way they are, warts and all, and loving them anyway.  Let them know that no matter what, you are in it for the long haul.


Commitment has to be a two-way street.  Each person has to have boundaries and each person has to maintain their own individuality.  Even though you are a couple, you are still a single person and you can’t lose that in a relationship.  Do things together, but also do things without your partner.  Have a night out with friends without your partner or do lunch with friends that don’t involve the other.



Always listen and seek to understand one another


No one person in the relationship should call all the shots and have rules that the other should abide by.  Be a couple, but remain your own person as well.  Being committed doesn’t mean that your life has to revolve around being together every second of every day.  It means that each person will maintain their life and come together in the middle because they want to be together.



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