A Guide On How to Solve Marital Problems

When it comes to relationships, marriage is often the ultimate goal.

Once you are married, marital problems will usually occur at some point in the relationship. Most marriages have rough patches and you shouldn’t think that a good marriage consists of only happy days without any problems at all. Many people think that as soon as there are problems, it may be time to get divorced. However, divorce should only be a last resort if the following guidelines don’t help.


First, the most important thing to do is to take time.

Take the time to truly think about each problem. It may be helpful to take a pen and paper and write out all of the issues you may have. This will help to clarify each of the issues and avoid lumping them all together. When you lump them all together it will tend to make them seem overwhelming. The simple act of writing out each individual problem will go a long way in understanding your issues. It is important that you both take the time to do so.


Once you have a list of all your issues, the next step is to truly think about the reasons or desires behind each issue. For example, perhaps you’re upset that your wife or husband is too busy and doesn’t make enough time for you.


When looking at the facts, could your expectations be unrealistic right now?

Possibly the boss is requiring working late, or one of you is working multiple jobs, there is a crisis situation with illness in the extended family, or one of you is having extra unusual responsibilities.


If this is a temporary situation, most people can wait and work around it for a short time. However, could it be one or both of you has gradually taken up the bad habit of zoning out by plopping on the couch, watching too much television or using social media excessively. Yes, sometimes, everyone needs a zone out time to recharge but if it happens regularly for hours and hours nightly, it can destroy the relationships we say we value most.


Have you calmly discussed what you would like to see happening instead?

Many people don’t communicate properly and may not even bring up the issue. If you’ve never spoken to your partner about the issue, then the chances are that they don’t even know it is an issue! Your partner can’t read your mind or may be too preoccupied to notice.


Unfortunately, this is actually quite common and a common sense reminder to take the time to express how you feel and what you’d like. The chances are that your husband or wife will think about it if presented in a non-critical way.

An example would be: We’ve both been so busy.  I’m really missing having time together lately. I wonder if we can figure out together how we can make time for more relaxed and fun times together again.


In addition to communicating, it needs to be done calmly and lovingly.

If you shout or quarrel with your partner, this will likely cause a negative reaction, leading to a lot of anger and resentment. What you say is important, but how you say it is even more important.


In the event that both of you can’t work through the problem together, then seek outside marriage friendly help! Consider marriage coaching, therapy or counseling. They can provide an objective third party view and will have many techniques to help both of you overcome any issue.


In closing, when it comes to marital problems, every married couple has problems. However, if you both truly love and care for each other, it is possible to work through any problem and then have an even stronger marriage than ever before.